Wednesday, October 22, 2008

We're not guidance counselors for a reason

Dear Splendid Advice,

I need to write a personal essay for my application to higher studies. What's the best way to highlight my academic history and aspirations? Without sounding all gay I mean.

Many thanks,

-A Degree Makes Me a Better Person

Dear Better Person,

You don't need to write an essay to get into community college, so start there. The only reason we suggest this is because fuck essays.

Seriously, why would you want to go somewhere that makes you write essays, when it's quite clear that - even if you manage to graduate - you'll only end up working minimum wage anyway.

Besides, it's clear from your question that you lack the ambition and drive it takes to succeed in higher levels of academia. Might we suggest farming gold in World of Warcraft instead?

- Lee and Karlski

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